An open letter to Chicago Aldermen

Dear Aldermen,

I wish to congratulate you on the success you have had in banning foi gras throughout Chicago. The cruelty the birds go through in their finals weeks of life is inhuman. I can only hope that the rest of the country follows your lead.

Please do not stop your crusade at foi gras. I wish to bring to your attention the Peruvian delicacy of guinnie pig. In the United States guinea pig is a common pet kept by millions of American children, not something to appear on your dinner plate! Could you imagine the horror little Timmy would suffer if he saw Nibbles on a spit? Completely unacceptable, you must continue your crusade against obscure foods that virtually no one eats, and ban the sale of guinea pig for human consumption in Chicago!

I realize that there are only a handful of Peruvian restaurants are in Chicago, and I don’t think any of them have guinea pig on the menu, but we cannot take the chance the restaurants will not start serving guinea pig. I know some people foolishly say that the free-market can dictate what is acceptable for human consumption. But they are wrong. If free-market worked then there would be no sale of foi gras in Chicago. Instead there was a steady stream of consumption of foi gras in Chicago.

I know you have several pressing issues to deal with in Chicago (Education, Budget, Property Tax’s, Poverty, Crime, Minimum Wage, Corruption, Unemployment) but you need to continue your crusade for animal rights, and ban the sale of guinea pig at restaurants!

Sincerely,
Greg
(Not a resident of Chicago)

3 Responses to “An open letter to Chicago Aldermen”

  1. Lech Says:

    What’s ironic to the bone is that foi gras isn’t even PRODUCED within any part of the city as there’s no farms to my knowledge in the immediate Cook County area. Well, perhaps one or two very small VEGETABLE farms but that’s about all I can think of. Lets prohibit something a little more obvious like hotdogs or cheese, then watch everyone go wild over it.

  2. dirk Says:

    My buddy’s wife has three guinea pigs, his daughter has one, and we can’t wait to bbq when they go on vacation. Wanna know whats worse than guinea pigs? the people who own them..